Possibly, I'm Insane

Requested by chriscalledmesweetie

Sherlock had never tried baking before but it didn’t seem like it should be difficult. After all, it was nothing but chemistry.

The recipes, however, had clearly been devised by imbeciles with no idea what they were doing. Some correction was required.

When John came home to a kitchen absolutely covered in every type of sugar imaginable, he blinked in astonishment and said, “What did you do?”

“This is your fault,” Sherlock said immediately. “You said you wanted some Christmas sweets, so…” Sherlock gestured to the sugar all around. “There. Sweetness,” he grumbled.

John, after a moment, burst out laughing.

Requested by perditorian 

Once the double heartbeat of a Time Lord had been a constant drumming warning in her head.

Now when she encountered it, it was in her children, their warm psychic connection against her.

Athena loved the comfort of those double heartbeats, as did Matt.

“I’m confused with human patients now,” he joked as he got ready for bed. “I think they only have half a heart.”

“Oh, no,” Athena said, crawling into bed with him for his nearness. “I know from experience, that one heartbeat is the biggest one.” She laid her ear on his chest just to hear it.

Requested by azriona 

“It’s annoying,” Oliver proclaimed.

Annoying was Oliver’s favorite word. He wasn’t Sherlock Holmes’s clone for nothing.

“Of course it is,” Sherlock agreed.

“You don’t even know what he’s talking about,” said John. “What’s annoying, Ollie?”

“The Arctic is amazing. Permafrost has an incredible amount of dead plant and animal material that is trapped carbon and methane.”

“That seems exactly like the sort of thing you love,” John said. “Why is that annoying?”

Oliver pouted. “At school all they want to talk about it how it’s where Father Christmas lives.”

“Told you school was a waste of his time,” said Sherlock.

Requested by mary_jane221b

“We’re doing Christmas wrong,” Lucky announced.

Arthur lifted his eyebrows at her. “Really? Because Santa always brings you plenty of presents.”

“The songs talk about sleigh bells,” Lucky complained. “Have you ever once heard sleigh bells on Christmas? We don’t even get snow! We’re doing it totally wrong.”

“She’s right,” said Eames unhelpfully. “Christmas should have snow.”

“Well, what the fuck,” said Arthur, and put money in the curse jar to make up for it. “Our families are in England and California.”

“We should take everyone to Switzerland,” Eames proposed.

And that was how Lucky got her Christmas sleigh bells.

Requested by velja 

“We should get married,” said Mycroft. “It makes a practical amount of sense.”

Greg sucked in his breath and looked up abruptly. “We should what?”

“I’m hoping you don’t particularly want a long engagement—” continued Mycroft.

“It’s practical?”

“Well, for purposes of your legal access to…” Mycroft faded at the look on Greg’s face.

“Not very romantic,” said Greg.

Mycroft said, “I could change the laws to be whatever I like and grant you legal access to anything. But I already think of you as my husband. We might as well make it official.”

Greg smiled. “Now, that’s better.”

Requested by sdlibrarian .

At the center of Eames’s dream there was a merry-go-round. Arthur watched it go round and round, until Eames came up to him.

“I fear the symbolism,” Arthur said.

“Do you think it represents the endless merry-go-round of our frustrating dance around each other?”

“Yes,” Arthur admitted.

“Maybe,” said Eames, threading their fingers together. “You do make me dizzy. And also...we’ve had so much fun. When’s the last time you rode a carousel, darling? Come let me show you how fun it is, so you’ll feel better about the one you’ve had me on.”

Arthur relented. And it was fun.

Requested by safarialuna.

“Mycroft needs our help,” Sherlock announced.

“Oh, and all of a sudden you’re at Mycroft’s beck and call?” said John.

“He has met the terms of my assistance,” Sherlock replied loftily.

“And what might those be?”

“Considerable,” said Sherlock evasively.

John let Sherlock evade. When they got to Mycroft’s, they were met with…corgis.

“What are…” John trailed off.

“I’m dog-sitting,” Mycroft said grimly. “Don’t ask any more questions, I can’t answer them under the Official Secrets Act.”

“They’re the Queen’s corgis,” Sherlock confided to John.

“Sherlock!” Mycroft scolded.

“Oh, it was obvious,” Sherlock shrugged.

“It was,” John said.

Mycroft scowled.

Requested by charlieslola

By the time he was five, Oliver was an expert at ferreting out all of the Christmas gift hiding places and what was inside every gift. No matter how much John tried to disguise the ultimate gift by placing oddly shaped boxes within other oddly shaped boxes and using other materials—crunchy newspaper, jars of marbles—to mask weight and sound, Oliver always knew.

“He is bloody impossible to surprise,” John complained.

“Not impossible,” Sherlock said. “After all, you manage to surprise me every day, just by your very existence. Just by being you.”

This was how middle-of-the-day sex happened.

Requested by anonymous

“And if you compare the hair of a Newfoundland with that of a St. Bernard—” Sherlock cut himself off abruptly as John yawned. “What was that?”

“It was a yawn, Sherlock,” John said.

“Why?” asked Sherlock suspiciously. “The comparison of different dog hairs is vitally important to—”

“It isn’t boredom, Sherlock, it’s exhaustion. It’s four o’clock in the bloody morning and—” John yawned again.

And so, to his horror, did Sherlock.

John smiled. “You might be sleepy, too.”

“Impossible,” sputtered Sherlock. “You know that contagious yawning is a phenomenon unconnected to—”

“Come to bed,” said John.

Requested by postynotemusing .

In Rose’s experience, Time Lords were the worst at choosing movies.

“You have the movies of all of space and time to choose from,” Rose complained, “and yet you always want to watch a Godzilla movie.”

“The genre’s called kaiju,” said Brem.

“Can’t we watch a movie without a giant monster? I mean, aren’t giant monsters basically our lives?”

“There is a kaiju planet,” mused the Doctor. “I’ve never brought us there because it isn’t the safest, but…might be worth a visit now the kids are older.”

Her kids clamored for the planet with the giant monsters, and Rose sighed.