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earlgreytea68Boston and New Orleans are two very different cities. I am reminded of that on a daily basis. They also have more similarities than it might look like at first glance, most of them centering around the fact that they're kind of hodge-podge cities that grew up all higgledy-piggledy, so the streets don't quite make sense, which is honestly something I prefer in a city. (For my original trilogy, there was a joke that I never have worked in, and I'll have to see if I can get it in there somewhere, but the hero of the trilogy is a "traveler," meaning that he is especially good at moving between worlds and realms and always knowing where he is and where he's going and how to locate people and places. The trilogy is set in Boston, and the joke was going to be that the way to flummox the hero was to drop him in New York City, with its sense-making grids and numbered and lettered streets. I could just envision the hero shuddering with horror. "How do you ever FIND anything here?" The idea still cracks me up, I *have* to work it in at some point.)
ANYWAY, moving on from that, the point of this post was to remark on one of the differences that I have found recently that never really occurred to me before, and that is the number of times people here tell me, "You'll get used to it." They always say this in regard to something that I, frankly, find completely unacceptable to my vision of civilization. For instance, it was said to me with regard to my continually ridiculous parking space that it STILL takes me multiple tries to get in and out of.
Me: I...don't understand this space. The car doesn't really fit, and I can't really get out of it without almost hitting that fence over here...
Woman I Was Talking To Who Is Also A Neighbor (shrugging; breezily): Oh, you'll get used to it!
And that was only the first time I was told this. Strange rattling noise in the air conditioner at work that NEVER STOPS and happens right over my head? I'll get used to it! Leaky window? I'll get used to it! The daily adventurous possibility of cockroaches? I'll get used to it! The stagnant pool water that grosses me out? I'll get used to it! Carrying an umbrella in a thunderstorm? I'll get used to it!
The reason why this struck me is not because there are a bunch of things I find unacceptable. Let's be totally frank, there's a bunch of stuff about Boston I find unacceptable, too. That's how every place in the world is: There are good parts and there are bad parts, and you have to find the place where the good parts make the bad parts worth it for you (this is also what you have to do to find a significant other). What struck me about this attitude is that I don't think I ever really heard those words said about an annoying Boston thing the whole time I lived in Boston.
For years while living in Boston, I lived on the Green Line, which is the worst thing masquerading as public transportation in a major city, like, EVER. I never once got used to how terrible the Green Line is. I complained about it vociferously until the day I finally moved away from the Green Line. And I will complain about it now, even though I no longer even live in the same city as the Green Line. And when I said to people where I lived, and they realized I was on the Green Line, no one ever said, "Oh, you'll get used to it!" They all said, "My God, that must be SO ANNOYING." Which, yes, it was. Boston has one of the most uncomfortable baseball stadiums in use today. Is it charming and intimate and the only place in the country to see a game (save, perhaps, Wrigley)? Oh, yes. But do we complain all the time about the uncomfortable seats, the sky-high prices, the inability of the city to figure out how to get us all into and out of the stadium in anything approximating efficiency? Oh, yes. Boston has pretty terrible weather, and, as far as I can tell, not a single person there has ever gotten used to it. Here, when they complain about their weather, they do it like it's so adorable. "Oh, the humidity is terrible, but it'll get better! You'll get used to it!" When Bostonians complain about the weather, IT IS THE END OF THE WORLD OMG IT WILL NEVER BE NICE OUT EVER AGAIN WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS TERRIBLE PLACE. <--this is not an exaggeration, I used to have this conversation almost every day with the girl who sat in the office next to me. Except for, like, the one day each month we deemed to be acceptable weather.
I think there is this immediate defensiveness to the way Bostonians deal with the city's shortcomings, a sort-of kneejerk reaction which I've decided to blame on our constant inferiority complex at having the best city in the world four hours away from us (and I think there is probably little contest that, whether or not New York is your favorite city in the world, it is, by the criteria by which we define cities, probably the best). Whenever I meet someone, and I tell them where I'm from, I feel slightly braced for how I'm going to deal with the drawbacks of Boston that might come up. Sometimes, people say, "Oh, Boston, I love Boston, what a great city!" But sometimes they don't say such nice things, and then I have an apologist's attitude toward this stuff. "I know, parking's terrible and impossible, I'm sorry." "I know, it's really expensive, it's...yeah, I don't know what to say, I'm sorry." "Yeah, the signage is really awful, I'm sorry about that." I personally have never said, "Yeah, it's impossible to have an easy night out in Boston, because of how crowded everything is, but you'll get used to it!" And I've never really heard anyone else say it. Do all these things bother me about Boston? Not really. It's not really because I'm used to them, because, honestly, I still acknowledge that they're totally annoying. (The saddest thing about the parking space here is that, on my list of Things I Was Happy To Be Moving To New Orleans For, one of the items was "easy parking!" Oh, well...). But I'm willing to deal with them because I love the buzz of the South End on a hot summer's evening or the hush of a snowfall over Beacon Hill or the terribly pretty pretension of a Cambridge block.
The New Orleans attitude, though, is refreshingly unapologetic. New Orleanians can't imagine why any of that stuff would ever get in the way of your falling in love with their city. They don't feel the need to apologize, because they are confident in the fact that their city's pretty awesome on the whole. So who cares about those minor annoyances in the scheme of things? You'll get used to them.
The Puritan part of Boston will probably always be slightly apologetic about itself, slightly less showy. There's a quiet Brahminism that knows it's the best place in the world, but winces at all the faults that frequently come up to ruin the image, like a dinner party not quite pulled off, served with slightly warm champagne and slightly cool clam chowder. Boston is constantly running at a stress level that is simply beyond the comprehension of New Orleans, I think, with its laidback, laissez-les-bon-temps-rouler viewpoint. It's funny, of all the differences between the cities, that this is what has struck me recently, because it probably goes to the very heart of the differences between the city.
I admit I prefer Boston to New Orleans. And I always feel the Bostonian need, down here, to apologize for that, to downplay it a bit, to deal with Boston's fauts as head-on as I can. I find myself looking around and taking deep breaths and thinking, well, I'll get used to it.
ANYWAY, moving on from that, the point of this post was to remark on one of the differences that I have found recently that never really occurred to me before, and that is the number of times people here tell me, "You'll get used to it." They always say this in regard to something that I, frankly, find completely unacceptable to my vision of civilization. For instance, it was said to me with regard to my continually ridiculous parking space that it STILL takes me multiple tries to get in and out of.
Me: I...don't understand this space. The car doesn't really fit, and I can't really get out of it without almost hitting that fence over here...
Woman I Was Talking To Who Is Also A Neighbor (shrugging; breezily): Oh, you'll get used to it!
And that was only the first time I was told this. Strange rattling noise in the air conditioner at work that NEVER STOPS and happens right over my head? I'll get used to it! Leaky window? I'll get used to it! The daily adventurous possibility of cockroaches? I'll get used to it! The stagnant pool water that grosses me out? I'll get used to it! Carrying an umbrella in a thunderstorm? I'll get used to it!
The reason why this struck me is not because there are a bunch of things I find unacceptable. Let's be totally frank, there's a bunch of stuff about Boston I find unacceptable, too. That's how every place in the world is: There are good parts and there are bad parts, and you have to find the place where the good parts make the bad parts worth it for you (this is also what you have to do to find a significant other). What struck me about this attitude is that I don't think I ever really heard those words said about an annoying Boston thing the whole time I lived in Boston.
For years while living in Boston, I lived on the Green Line, which is the worst thing masquerading as public transportation in a major city, like, EVER. I never once got used to how terrible the Green Line is. I complained about it vociferously until the day I finally moved away from the Green Line. And I will complain about it now, even though I no longer even live in the same city as the Green Line. And when I said to people where I lived, and they realized I was on the Green Line, no one ever said, "Oh, you'll get used to it!" They all said, "My God, that must be SO ANNOYING." Which, yes, it was. Boston has one of the most uncomfortable baseball stadiums in use today. Is it charming and intimate and the only place in the country to see a game (save, perhaps, Wrigley)? Oh, yes. But do we complain all the time about the uncomfortable seats, the sky-high prices, the inability of the city to figure out how to get us all into and out of the stadium in anything approximating efficiency? Oh, yes. Boston has pretty terrible weather, and, as far as I can tell, not a single person there has ever gotten used to it. Here, when they complain about their weather, they do it like it's so adorable. "Oh, the humidity is terrible, but it'll get better! You'll get used to it!" When Bostonians complain about the weather, IT IS THE END OF THE WORLD OMG IT WILL NEVER BE NICE OUT EVER AGAIN WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS TERRIBLE PLACE. <--this is not an exaggeration, I used to have this conversation almost every day with the girl who sat in the office next to me. Except for, like, the one day each month we deemed to be acceptable weather.
I think there is this immediate defensiveness to the way Bostonians deal with the city's shortcomings, a sort-of kneejerk reaction which I've decided to blame on our constant inferiority complex at having the best city in the world four hours away from us (and I think there is probably little contest that, whether or not New York is your favorite city in the world, it is, by the criteria by which we define cities, probably the best). Whenever I meet someone, and I tell them where I'm from, I feel slightly braced for how I'm going to deal with the drawbacks of Boston that might come up. Sometimes, people say, "Oh, Boston, I love Boston, what a great city!" But sometimes they don't say such nice things, and then I have an apologist's attitude toward this stuff. "I know, parking's terrible and impossible, I'm sorry." "I know, it's really expensive, it's...yeah, I don't know what to say, I'm sorry." "Yeah, the signage is really awful, I'm sorry about that." I personally have never said, "Yeah, it's impossible to have an easy night out in Boston, because of how crowded everything is, but you'll get used to it!" And I've never really heard anyone else say it. Do all these things bother me about Boston? Not really. It's not really because I'm used to them, because, honestly, I still acknowledge that they're totally annoying. (The saddest thing about the parking space here is that, on my list of Things I Was Happy To Be Moving To New Orleans For, one of the items was "easy parking!" Oh, well...). But I'm willing to deal with them because I love the buzz of the South End on a hot summer's evening or the hush of a snowfall over Beacon Hill or the terribly pretty pretension of a Cambridge block.
The New Orleans attitude, though, is refreshingly unapologetic. New Orleanians can't imagine why any of that stuff would ever get in the way of your falling in love with their city. They don't feel the need to apologize, because they are confident in the fact that their city's pretty awesome on the whole. So who cares about those minor annoyances in the scheme of things? You'll get used to them.
The Puritan part of Boston will probably always be slightly apologetic about itself, slightly less showy. There's a quiet Brahminism that knows it's the best place in the world, but winces at all the faults that frequently come up to ruin the image, like a dinner party not quite pulled off, served with slightly warm champagne and slightly cool clam chowder. Boston is constantly running at a stress level that is simply beyond the comprehension of New Orleans, I think, with its laidback, laissez-les-bon-temps-rouler viewpoint. It's funny, of all the differences between the cities, that this is what has struck me recently, because it probably goes to the very heart of the differences between the city.
I admit I prefer Boston to New Orleans. And I always feel the Bostonian need, down here, to apologize for that, to downplay it a bit, to deal with Boston's fauts as head-on as I can. I find myself looking around and taking deep breaths and thinking, well, I'll get used to it.
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no subject
Date: 2011-08-25 05:15 pm (UTC)smoke a fat oneand focus on relaxing."Which, by the way, watch out for southerners that try to hug you unless you are ready for a serious commitment, whether it be a relationship or friendship... because that's normally something reserved for friends that are like family or family. This is generally followed by you getting invited to their family gatherings where they try to feed you as much as humanly possible and/or get you hooked up with a single family member.
And despite our rough appearances and demeanor, we're a very touchy feelly lot so don't be surprised if a waitress that's gotten to know you, rubs your shoulder and/or calls you "sweetie" or "sugar" or "honey/hun" then asks what they can get for "ya" or "y'all". It's not disrespectful or ill meaning... it just means we like you and we tend to like anybody until given a reason not to.
And if all else fails, don't worry about the quirks of the south...
You'll get used to it ;)
no subject
Date: 2011-08-30 02:46 am (UTC)So far no one has tried to hug me, thank God. I don't know if I could handle that! I have noticed all the terms of endearment, though!
no subject
Date: 2011-08-25 05:34 pm (UTC)I've been to New Orleans twice and Boston twice (three conferences and a wedding), so I've not exactly delved in to what either city has to offer. And, as someone who has never lived, and spend very little time, east and south of Chicago, I don't have a good grasp of either East Coast or Southern living. Although I might take issue with the assumption that NYC is the greatest city. I've been there a handful of times too, but it just holds so little appeal to me. So many of my friends have been excited to move there and I just don't get it at all. I get the visiting part, I guess. Go in, see a show, eat a fab dinner and then leave. I think it's actually too big for me. *shrug*
no subject
Date: 2011-08-30 02:50 am (UTC)And I don't think NYC is everyone's favorite city. It's not mine, I actually think it's too big for me, too. But I do think that, as cities go, it's a tough one to compete with definition-wise. It just seems like the swirling epicenter of everything.
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Date: 2011-08-30 02:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-25 07:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-30 02:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-26 01:08 am (UTC)And even though there are many things that I adore about New Orleans (crazy random streets being one of them), I am still a Chicago girl at heart. Because of this, it still drives me crazy that no one here knows how to deal with snow, that they think anything below 55 degrees is 'freezing', and that they think I am some sort of alien because I don't drink iced tea.
However, we do have beignets and Mardi Gras, which make up for a lot of other faults :D
no subject
Date: 2011-08-30 02:52 am (UTC)And fried catfish.
(I admit, I learned how to drink iced tea when I lived down here last time. Now I'm addicted to it.)
no subject
Date: 2011-08-30 03:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-03 08:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-29 06:42 pm (UTC)