Jobs I Should Be Doing

[earlgreytea68]

Today at lunch, I wandered over to Page 2 for the first time in forever. And what do I see? This article. Which immediately infuriated me, as I actually try as hard as I can not to be obnoxious to other fans. I never gloat, or explain how awesome my team is, because that is stuff I associate with Yankee fans, and I hate that about Yankee fans. I've been to Red Sox away games, and I've cheered for the Red Sox, and I've always felt bad doing it, because I *know* it's annoying, but, at the same time, when the rest of the stadium is also full of Red Sox fans, why shouldn't I cheer? There are parts of that article that don't even make logical sense to me. Like what? Well, I will share with you:

 

"As soon as the Red Sox won the 2004 World Series, Boston fans took on a swaggering, entitled persona, acting as if they alone invented sports fandom and behaving as if nothing else in baseball mattered but them."

I'm sorry, this started in 2004? Red Sox fans have always thought they were the best fans in baseball, and that they were the only things that mattered in baseball. Please see the 2003 documentary on Red Sox fandom, "Still We Believe."

"What we really need is a wall, a moat and a minefield around New England to keep the spoiled citizens of Red Sox Nation from sneaking into the rest of the country and taking over seats in major league ballparks that should go to hard-working local fans. Everywhere the Red Sox play these days turns into a road version of Fenway Park, with Boston fans occasionally drowning out the hometown fans with their 'Let's Go Red Sox!' chants. They were so over the top at a recent game in Seattle, I was surprised the Mariners didn't play 'Sweet Caroline.'"

I guess I owe the hard-working local fans an apology for stealing their tickets. God, I'm such an entitled, spoiled brat, it's really quite ridiculous. How dare I click on the "Buy Tickets!" icon online and purchase tickets to a baseball game that's not in my hometown, when those tickets are specifically being reserved for the hard-working local fans? It's shameful, really. Look, it's not like Red Sox fans are throwing money around on eBay to get tickets to sold-out away games. Away game tickets are cheap and easy to come by. You know why? BECAUSE THE HARD-WORKING LOCAL FANS DON'T GO TO GAMES. And, believe me, every Red Sox fan in the Nation would rather go to a game at Fenway, but Fenway tickets are impossible to get. What about the hard-working local fans in Boston? Won't anyone stand up for our rights, I ask you? (Oh, and as an aside, I have been told that the Red Sox fans don't own "Sweet Caroline," and I know for a fact they play it in other stadiums, so that reference is wrong.)

"Whether this is an inspiring show of team pride by passionate fans or an annoying lack of manners depends on how close you have to actually sit to these people."

Or whether you think a baseball game is about baseball or not. I used to live in D.C. I used to go to baseball games in D.C. They're a bit dull and boring. Not the game itself, but the atmosphere in the stadium. Then, once, I went to a Nats-Yankee game. The stadium, for a change, was full (this was because Red Sox and Yankee fans were busy mugging tickets off of hard-working local fans). The game was loud, it was passionate, it was full of cheering and heckling and booing and ovations. And it was an AWESOME game, which the Nats won with a walk-off home run. And at one point, one of the Red Sox games, there specifically to cheer on the home town team and presumably not to be annoying, on his feet for a particular key at-bat, turned to the Nats fans who were still sitting and not really paying attention, and said, "Why don't you people cheer?" Maybe that's obnoxious. But it's a differing definition of why you go to a baseball game. Red Sox fans go to cheer on their team. That's only obnoxious if you're there to have a tea party. 

"They call themselves Red Sox Nation, the same arrogant way the Cowboys call themselves America's Team."

How is calling oneself "the nation that consists of Red Sox fans" the same as calling oneself "America's Team?" Maybe he's genuinely confused. When we say Red Sox Nation, we don't mean *America.* The president of Red Sox Nation is--thank God--not W.

"Where the hell is Red Sox Nation anyway?"

I wouldn't think this was all that confusing. It isn't a literal nation. It's a figure of speech. It requires a bit of abstract thought. But Red Sox Nation is that segment of the population that consists of Red Sox fans. 

"It seems to me Red Sox Nation only exists when the team is winning, like a country that only shows up on U.S. State Department radar when oil is discovered."

Much like the idea that Red Sox fans only started thinking they were good fans in 2004, I'm not sure where he's getting this idea. I have a bumper sticker that says "Red Sox Nation" that predates the World Series win. It's not that Red Sox Nation didn't exist until 2004, it's that the national media didn't start shoving it down everyone's throat until 2004, and please don't blame me for that. 

"I would say that Red Sox fans need a humbling collapse -- say, blowing a 14½-game lead in the standings or a 3-0 lead in the ALCS -- but then we would just have to listen to them moan about that for another couple decades."

Wow. Like, he hates us that much? I never once wished humbling collapses on anyone (but the Yankees, and that's for obvious reasons). 

"This means no one wants to read any more stories about how a shriveling first-place lead or a Yankees pennant drive inspires 'dread' in Boston fans."

Again, I'm okay with the idea that those stories should only run in New England newspapers, where we actually do feel this way. I can't control the rest of the media. 

"Hearing fans of a team with a $143 million payroll and a recent World Series ring worry about a seven-game lead is like listening to Bill Gates worry that Social Security might run out when he's 67."

This is the first good point in the article. I know it's annoying. I have tried to be a more optimistic Red Sox fan. It doesn't work very well. But that's what makes me a Red Sox fan. And I'm still not entirely sure that we'll be able to hold that seven-game lead...

"Better yet, follow the lead of White Sox fans. Their team went 88 years without winning a World Series. They went 46 years without even playing in one. Yet when they finally won in 2005, they had the decency to keep their celebration to themselves."

And then this is the part where it *really* became clear to me that we were speaking different languages. I rooted for the White Sox to win the World Series that year. I think everyone should have a short at the euphoria of 2004. And you know what? After they won, I watched their fans, and I thought, Wow. I don't think it meant enough to them. I didn't think, Aw, those well-mannered White Sox fans! I thought, Why aren't you in tears? I don't get what's going on here. 

I want to know why that guy's being paid to write a national column, and I am not? That is what I want to know.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

You tell 'em, sister! This "writer" is a first class idiot. And you're right. If it's standard policy to hire unhinged bloggers at ESPN, why not you?

-Steph

[earlgreytea68.livejournal.com]

Aw, your support makes me feel all warm and fuzzy! That's exactly what I'm saying.

I can't figure out how to change the typo in the link. Once again, LJ stymies me.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, it must be torturing you.

[earlgreytea68.livejournal.com]

Kind of, yes. But the typo exists because of the blindly passionate huff I was in when I was typing it.